This Really Ran in My Hometown Newspaper On Wednesday

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 By DEN MCLAUGHLIN dmclaughlin@tnonline.com A Lansford woman, who borough police found naked from the waist down outside a convenience store, entered a guilty plea in the case on Tuesday in Carbon County court. Heather Michelle Hayes, 25, pleaded guilty to one count each of indecent exposure and open lewdness before Judge Joseph J. Matika. Hayes was charged following an incident which took place on Feb. 26 at Turkey Hill. Charges of indecent
exposure, simple assault, open lewdness, and harassment were filed by Officer Jeffrey Ohl. According to Ohl, he was dispatched at 2:42 a.m. about a female assaulting a male at the convenience mart. Upon arrival he saw a female standing by the trash container nude from the waist down. Ohl quickly placed her in the back seat of the cruiser and identified her as Hayes. Hayes told Ohl that she had gotten into an argument with her boyfriend, Eric Zuber, after he refused to have sex with her. Ohl spoke with Zuber, who said that the two were at his house and that Hayes became argumentative when he refused to have sex with her. He said the argument escalated, and that Hayes began to slap and punch him about the head and back. She bit him on the left forearm, and grabbed his testicles and began to twist them. Ohl saw redness and bite marks on Zuber's forearm. Zuber said he was able to flee when Hayes was smashing things in the house. He said he was headed for the convenience store to call 911 and that Hayes was following him yelling obscenities and insults. Zuber said Hayes followed him into the store yelling at him, and hit him with her house keys. Ohl said Hayes told him that for the past two days Zuber had been playing Xbox with his friends and not paying attention to her. Hayes said this upset her and that Zuber wouldn't go to bed with her and have sex. Asked why she was nude from the waist down, Hayes said it was because she was anticipating having sex, and that she didn't want to go upstairs and put on pants before following Zuber to the convenience store. Yesterday Hayes told Matika she ran after Zuber because he left the house without his keys and she did not want to go to bed and have to get up later to let him in when he came home. Apparently, true love won out in the matter as Zuber posted bail for Hayes after her arrest. Zuber told Matika that the two were still living together and that following the court hearing they were going to the first floor of the courthouse and apply for a marriage license. He told the judge, "I love her." Matika told Zuber he better stop playing Xbox games and pay attention to his girlfriend. Matika placed her on probation for a year on each count, running concurrently, and ordered her to get a mental health evaluation and follow any recommendation for treatment, and render 50 hours of community service. She must also pay court costs and pay a $50 per month supervision fee while on probation.
From The Times News 

Harry Note - My students at work.