On Friday night, there was a big Research Recognition Dinner at the University Center of FSU – better known to folks as the Doak Campbell Stadium. And guess what – The Trailing Spouse was invited. No – they weren’t honoring me for my glorious blogs in the Democrat – heck they weren’t even honoring me. Lulu was recognized for her research that brought a million dollars to the College of Information from the federal government. This was closest I will ever get to being “arm candy” like at the Oscars. Yes – I was simply fulfilling my role as a “trophy husband” for my wife – I won’t tell you what place she finished to earn me.
The Research Recognition Dinner is held to compliment the professors that had a lot of their work published or brought lots of money into the treasury of FSU. I am sure every person that attended the dinner had a different perspective – but what I enjoyed most was relating to the many other trailing spouses that I met at the event and hearing their stories of following their spouses’ careers. Each one was eager to tell me how they got to Tallahassee – how they were coping with their roles – and how proud they were of their spouses’ accomplishments.
You might ask – how could I recognize other trailing spouses? Each person was given a neat little nametag with the FSU logo on the front and their table number on the back. On the front was the guest’s name in large black letters. On many of the tags – there was a second line of text that identified the person’s college or department. I had to squint to read the second line in the darkened room. But soon it became obvious to me that the folks with no second line of text were spouses and more often than not – trailing spouses. So pretty soon I was not even reading the name line – I was just concentrating to see if the person had a blank second line – I wanted to talk to them.
Surprisingly – most trailing spouses that I met were almost apologetic that they suppressed their careers to follow their husbands, wives, or partners to Tallahassee. College professors are a mobile bunch – they will often pull up stakes at inopportune times to follow their holy grail to the Groves of Academe. Many spouses that I met waxed back to fantastic jobs and wonderful homes they gave up – to “follow the sun.” One fellow told me he has been doing this for 46 years – sometimes for his career and sometimes for his wife’s career. This time is was for the wife – but he did not like being call a trailing spouse – he chose the term “alpha earner” for his wife – “academic bumblebee” for himself. They were academic vagabonds.
You may recall that I taught 7th grade science in the same public school for 33 years – in a small town back North. So to me – Talahassee is the big city with more things to do – places to shop – places to eat – and the most fantastic weather and foliage I could image. But some trailing spouses have come to town almost as hostage – pulling their kids out of school after school – and boarding up homes they loved with realtor signs. When Lulu was recruited at FSU – I sold a home that I literally built from a kit 35 years ago – to live in the shadow of the Capitol here in Treeville. Most of the folks really liked Tallahassee – but some expressed a desire for the amenities that only London and Paris could provide.
But the trailing spouse that I did not get to meet – but I am sure is a spectacular guy – is the husband of Julianna Baggott – the main speaker. She was the funny - witty - pretty guest speaker of the dinner. What amazed me and got my attention was when my wife said she just had her fourth child. She has a list of publications as long as your arm. She is a professor of Creative Writing at FSU. If you check out her web page - http://www.juliannabaggott.com/ - you will see that she has several novels that made the best-seller list.
Her husband is David G. W. Scott. He is also a writer – but to me – his claim to fame is that he stays home with the 4 little kids. I realize that is a sexist comment – because tons of wives have done the same thing without being placed on a pedestal – but having stayed home for 1 year with a couple of toddlers – I can only admire what he is doing. No – I did not interview Dave – I do not even know if he was at the dinner. I am sure he has much better use of his time than to humor this old guy writing a gratis blog for the Democrat.
